And you say he/she’s just a friend..

Written on April 22, 2009 at 6:44 am, by Melissa

you say he's just a friend...

Today’s post is contributed by, Jasmine Butler. Jasmine is a Harlemite who loves to walk as far as humanly possible and enjoying sweet treats throughout NYC.  Jasmine is a Wesleyan graduate who uses her womanly charm and romance languages to woo various store owners into discounts and bottles of champagna! Her friends love her for this.

Have you ever met a girl that you tried to date
But a year to make love she wanted you to wait
Let me tell ya a story of my situation
I was talkin’ to this girl from the U.S. nation
The way that I met her was on tour at a concert
She had long hair and a short miniskirt
I just got onstage drippin’, pourin’ with sweat
I was walkin’ through the crowd and guess who I met
I whispered in her ear, “Come to the picture booth
So I can ask you some questions to see if your hundred proof”
I asked her her name, she said blah-blah-blah
She had 9/10 pants and a very big bra
I took a couple of flicks and she was enthused
I said, “How do you like the show?”
she said, “I was very amused”
I started throwin’ bass, she started throwin’ back mid-range
But when I sprung the question, she acted kind of strange
Then when I asked, “Do ya have a man?” she tried to pretend
She said, “No I don’t, I only have a friend”
Come on, I’m not even goin’ for it
This is what I’m goin’ sing- Biz Markie

I have been friends with my ex boyfriend for the past 7 years post breakup. We share information about our lives and help each-other out with advice regarding respective dating relationships, job inquires and music.

Some would argue that there is unhealthy quality about this friendship but our relationship is purely platonic and yes he is really just my FRIEND. We don’t even go out and probably see each other once our twice a year for b-day celebrations or common friend gatherings. From my perspective we have evolved as friends and I consider him to be in the top best friend pool because he gives real advice that isn’t sugar coated and I do the same for him.

Can men and women be friends after being romantically involved? If so what distinguishes a healthy and honest friendship from an emotional cheating situation? And does a man perceive friendship with an ex girlfriend differently than a woman does?

What Had Happened Was..

Written on April 21, 2009 at 7:35 am, by Melissa

Today’s topic is submitted by Lindsey. Lindsey is an NYU graduate gracing us with her stateside presence after spending two years utilizing her fluent french in Cameroon. Lindsey is serious about her haitian cuisine and LSAT preparation!

“When you’re in a relationship, you cannot tell the man everything about your past relationships. Tell him the basics, but you just cannot tell him even close to everything.”

Upon my mother saying these words to me, something didn’t quite click. While strongly inclined to politely disagree, the weight of her intuition and maternal wisdom took precedent and so, I kept my mouth shut. Her words and my silent disagreement cling with me for the next few days. So I ask – Is partial honesty the best policy? Is not revealing the whole truth and nothing but the truth a step in the direction of deceit? Is it preferable to know nearly everything or are “just the basics” better?

Pimpin IS Easy

Written on April 20, 2009 at 7:17 am, by Shawn Lee

Today’s topic was received as a forward from a friend who is in the loop with Ronald Grey, The Photographer. Ronald is a Philadelphia native who was drawn to the arts at an early age. In the Spring of 2002, Ronald joined Omega Psi Phi Fraternity Incorporated and attended Cheyney University of Pennsylvania.

Please discuss!

“A Pimp is happy when his whores giggle. He knows they are still asleep…all whores have one thing in common just like the chumps humping for the white boss. It thrills em’ when the pimp makes mistakes. They watch and wait for his downfall. A pimp is the loneliest bastard on Earth. He’s gotta know his whores. He can’t let them know him. He’s gotta be God all the way.”

That was a quote from a Pimp named Iceberg Slim. I recited it to a female friend of mine yesterday, and listened in awe as she became enraged at my witticisms. She called to ask for relationship advice, but instead I gave her advice on Pimping. She didn’t get it at first, but I soon broke down the psychology of pimping and exposed how easily women are manipulated and how men today use mind control to get what they want; just like the pimps who simply exploited mental flaws to control women while generating a profit. As a new year’s resolution, I vowed to stop allowing people to come to me for relationship advice-which I call the “Dr. Phil” Effect- which is when a friend of mine, male or female, seems to have trouble with the opposite sex and comes to me to wondering, “what they should do.” They say that they appreciate my advice because it’s unbiased and brutally honest, however very few really listen to it. In the end I end up giving more advice to get them out of a more fucked up situation because they didn’t listen to the advice I gave them in the beginning. A good friend of mine named Felecia always used to say, “You take the guesswork out of relationships by asking questions.” But…what do women do when they don’t know the right questions to ask? What are the things that keep sistas from finding a good man?

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Cheaters…never…win?

Written on April 17, 2009 at 11:08 am, by Melissa

Today’s topic of discussion is submitted by Mica Wilson. Mica is a 20 something, Columbia University graduate and Philly exile currently residing on the gentrified yet mean streets of Harlem.  Mica is an Aquarius who enjoys long walks through Central Park but , “only the Harlem side because it is way more entertaining.”

Mel DISCLAIMER: This topic is only targeted at that subset of the population that cheats. All men do not cheat. All women do not cheat. Some men, however, do cheat. Some women definitely cheat. I’m trying to explore the differences in how men and women cheat.
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